What not to do on a night out.

When in a nightclub, there are certain things that you shouldn't really do. Obviously due to the varying degrees of inebriation that you'll undoubtedly be experiencing, you can't always control your actions. I know that trying to tell young people to watch how much they drink is completely pointless. I, myself have always ignored these warnings from others and I'm always that guy who's more drunk than everyone else. So unfortunatly, I've done everything on my list of "what not to do's" and so much more. In my opinion, the worst thing about a night out is waking up the next morning and regretting everything you did the night before. I always worry that I've done or said something to offend someone and usually spend my hangover completely paranoid.

Every good night on the lash starts with a pre-drinking session. It's always a good idea to ply yourself with a bit of cheap booze before you hit the clubs. It'll loosen your inhibitions and save you some money, especially if you're going to a club that charges about a fiver for a vodka and Rebull. If you over do the pre-drinking though, you'll arrive at the club already more drunk than everyone else and you'll look like a dickhead. Especially if it's early.

When you do reach the club, don't try and befriend the bouncers. Thousands of people pass through the doors every week and loads of them think they're hilarious. They won't jump at the chance to be your friend, they'll only scoff at you and check your ID extra hard. If they think that you're too drunk to get in, you're not going to. So keep your mouth shut and don't avoid their eyes, it looks suspicious.

Upon entry, don't complain about the price of entry. Nothing says 'poor tramp' than attempting to haggle on the door. You knew that you were going to have to pay entry and you also know that nightclubs try and get money out of you at every turn. Most clubs have their entry prices on their website or on their Facebook page, so don't go unprepared.

So you're in and you want a drink. Like the doormen, the majority of bar staff have no interest in being your friend. They're not going to give you free drinks so don't even bother. They're told to be nice to you so you haven't made a friend for life, you've just encountered someone who's hoping for a tip. Don't try and be funny either, they're rushed off their feet and stressed, pretending to laugh won't help.

Now that you're drunk and your inhibitions are out the window, you're going to be chatting to people. It's not a good idea to go up to someone and say "excuse me, you are so beautiful". It's flattering at first, but when it turns into a fifteen minute ramble - you look like a creep. Equally, don't do the "I wish I looked like your boyfriend" routine. When you're talking to someone in a club, don't suddenly shout at them to add you on Facebook and when they agree to, don't then make them do it in front of you. Not only will you look like a weirdo, you'll also have randomers that you don't remember sending you friend requests.

It seems obvious, but don't leave your stuff lying around. You can't trust anyone and they're not going to hand your property into lost and found. The other club-goers are complete strangers to you and you don't know what they're capable of. If a stranger comes up to you and pushes a drink on you, don't drink it unless you saw them buy it. I've had my drink spiked before and to be honest, it was a trip to A & E that I could've done without.

People's tolerance of annoying people goes down as the alcohol levels go up, so stay away from controversial subjects. You may think that the BNP are the way forward, but it's not cool to mention that now. Crying is also so annoying when you're tyring to have a good time, so if you're a cryer in particular, then you need to be careful about how much you drink. For smokers, cigarettes are like currency, so either buy your own - or don't smoke. It's so annoying when people you don't know ask you for a fag.

If you get separated from your group of friends, it's unnecessary to go from group to group describing their outfits, faces and hairstyles. The chances are that nobody has seen them and even if they had, they're unlikely to still be in the same place. Often on nights out, you end up kissing someone (at least), nothing will ruin your night more than getting off with a minger. It sounds horrible, but you have to make sure that they're attractive enough to smooch or you're definatly going to regret it!

Make sure you keep hold of you cloak room ticket. When it comes to the end of your night and you want your coat back, they can't give it to you unless you have your ticket. You can try and negotiate this all you want, but it's not going to get you anywhere. You'll have to wait until the club closes and everyone else gets their coats or else call them the next morning, which is complete hassle.

Keep all these in mind and hopefully you'll have a great night that you won't forget or regret.

sexy right?

Mix Tape

My laptop has broken yet again! So, despite my hoping that my posts will become more regular - they've become fewer and further between.

Anyway, I read a post called "Mix-tape" on a blog by a girl called Jessica and I decided to copy it. The idea is that I put my iPod onto shuffle and then write something about the first ten songs that come up (I was only going to do five but once I started, it was difficult to stop). I'm hoping that some good songs come up, I do have some real shit on my iPod. Let's begin...

Rilo Kiley - The Frug

No matter how much I persist, none of my friends will listen to this song all the way through, which is a real shame - because I LOVE it! I actually discovered it in 2007 when I was an avid watcher of various "vlogs" on Youtube. A user under the guise of 'mememolly' used this song in a video and since then it's always held a special place in my playlist.

The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset

I've always thought of myself as a bit of an old soul. Released in 1967, 'Waterloo Sunset' is one of my favourite songs ever! It always cheers me up even though the lyrics aren't particularly happy. I always listened to my Dad's music in the car when i was younger, but I didn't hear this until I was about fourteen when I went on a rampage in the loft looking for old music. That day ended up changing my life in a way because I haven't look at music in the same way since.

Adele - Best For Last

It may be becoming uncool to like Adele, but I have a soft spot for her unrivaled by any female singer since Blondie (Call Me - best song ever). Her jazzy throwbacks are lovely to listen to and 'Best For Last' is my favourite song on the 19 album. I saw Adele live when 19 was first released and I think thats when my love for her first began to bloom.

The Ramones - Teenage Lobotomy

The Ramones are one of my all time favourite bands! I always listen to them when I'm walking somewhere. They were popular in the late seventies and early eighties, so long before I was born but I so glad I discovered them. On my fourteenth or fifteenth birthday, by sister bought me Ramones badges to pin on my school bag. I looked them up on Youtube to see if they were my kind of thing and they were! Nearly five years on from that and my love hasn't wavered.

Jessie J - Rainbow

I only have this song on my iPod because I downloaded her album for my sister, I've never listened to it because I really don't like Jessie J that much. I like 'Mamma Knows Best' but I find everything else cringy and unlistenable, sorry.

David Bowie - Rebel Rebel

Ahh, another one of my musical loves! After 'Diamond Dogs', this is my favourite Bowie song! I discovered David Bowie when I was doing music in Year 11 at school. This was one of the songs that I had to sing for our Final Major Project and the rest, as they say, is history! Love it!

Nicki Minaj - Super Bass

I was working in a mainstream nightclub when this song came out, so I heard it most nights and subsequently - I know every single word. I do like Nicki Minaj, she's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine.

The Kooks - Seaside

This song takes me back to being about fourteen and thinking that I was the most indie thing since sliced bread. I have all of their albums and I still love there music. I always find that if a singers personality comes off badly in interveiws, then I stop liking them (I've always found Justin Beiber so rude in interveiws and I can't stomach his annoying singing voice, but maybe the two are unrelated). This however, hasn't held true for the Kooks, which is good.

The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby

No iPod is complete without a bit of The Beatles! I love them and I have done since I was about eleven years old. When every body else in my class was singing Usher's 'Yeah' between lessons, I was singing this. It was always really awkward when someone would ask me what I thought about the lastest Black Eyed Pea's tune and I'd have no idea because I was listening to The Beatles and REM (Losing My Religion FTW)!

Pulled Apart By Horses - I Punched A Lion In The Throat

I can't help but feel like this is a little anti-climatic. I heard this song first in June last year when I was listening to Nick Grimshaw on Radio 1 at night. It's the closest thing to screamo my iPod will ever see but I do enjoy listening to it. It's a good running track, it makes me feel aggressivley motivated. It's not as good as 'V.E.N.O.M' but I won't skip it when it comes on shuffle.

So that's it. There are literally thousands of songs that could've come up and I was actually hoping for some Beach Boys or some Stornoway but it wasn't to be. I LOVE music so much! I don't know when I'll be able to post next due to my lack of laptop, but if anyone actually reads this - follow me on twitter.

La la la, see ya!

celebrity look-alikes

Much like many other 18-year-olds, I'm obsessed with the world of celebrity. So, if an A-lister was to turn up at my birthday party, I would probably be beside myself with excitment.

I'm not delusional however, I know that the chances of an A-lister actually turning up on my door step are very slim. So, what would be the next best thing?  After trawling the internet for some gentle lols, I'm please to say that I've discovered it - a celebrity look-alike of course! What better way would there be to spice up one of my regular "Twilight saga themed bash's" than an appearence from Mr Edward Cullen himself?! Obviously, Edward is a fictional character so he couldn't turn up even if he wanted to. It's even less likely that the actor Robert Pattinson would respond to my invitation and this is where I put in a call to http://www.lookalikes.info/. Here I can hire someone who is the spitting image of R-Patz!


Look- alike                           Real Thing

Yes, this man thinks that his resemblance to Pattinson is so uncanny that he can make money from people! I think it's fair to say that Jon Fox here is completley delusional, thinking that he looks like the 26-year-old vampire heart throb. Laughable, right?

But seriously, I think that delusion must play a big part in the look-alike industry, kind of like those tone- deaf, chromosonally challenged X-Factor auditionee's. I'm sure we'd all like to think that we look just like one of Brangelina, but most of us know in our heart of hearts that we don't and we never will. If I was convinced that I looked like a young Leonardo Dicaprio- I know for almost certain that there are people in my life decent enough to bring me crashing back down to earth.

Paul Smith however is apparently not as lucky as most of us in the company he keeps. Nobody, it would seem has told poor Mr Smith that despite the fact that he has convinced himself that he is the spitting image of Jude Law there is in actual fact, very little likeness. I mean, okay - you're both white males but the similarities stop there.


Faker                            Real one

Who looks in the mirror and thinks "Gosh, I look so much like *insert celebrities name here*, I'm going to try and make me some money"? One must be quite arrogant to look in the mirror and think that they look so much like Kim Kardashian that they can path a career for themselves by turning up to parties and standing around.

To www.lookalikes.info's credit however, they do have some look-alikes on the books that actually look remarkably similar to those whom they are impersonating. Although, I am slightly suspicious of the authenticity of some of the pictures on lookalikes.info, let's just say that a few of the pictures came straight from Google images. Their claims may not be legit (either that, or they look so much like the celebs that they've fooled even me). Carlton Walls, in my opinion looks so uncannily like Hugh Grant that I can almost hear him saying "I am an island! I'm bloody Ibiza".


Faux                               Woah

So, people are constantly telling you that you look like a celeb. You decide to take the plunge and sign up to a look-alike agency to look for work for you. But what if you look like someone really ugly? Imagine, if you will that you are constantly being hired to come to parties so that people can laugh at you due to your resemblance to Susan Boyle and Donatella Versace. That would definalty be one of the most depressing jobs ever! (and I'm including embalmer in this)

Writing this made me think about what celebrity I look like. I don't really look like anyone, but much like Jon Fox and Paul Smith I'm not going to let that stop me! Once, a really drunk girl told me that I look like model Jay Camilleri. I took this as a high compliment even though It's not remotley true. My sister told me she thought I look like Simon Amstell a couple of years ago, but I think she was trying to insult me. What do you think?


Simon Amstell                            Moi

(images lookalikes.info, google.images & imdb.com)

trying to be upbeat

So, after my dad dropping my new latop on the stone kitchen floor - it seemed even less likely that I would be posting anything on here. Even if the promise of having it fixed in six day wasn't hollow, almost literally nothing has happened to me since I last posted. I still don't know how to blog, I still haven't replaced my phone and after what seems like countless interviews - I'm still unemployed.

As if the weather in Britian didn't punish us throughout most of the year, it's now June and all I can hear is the torential rain beating againts my conservatory roof. I spent so much money that I don't have on shorts because I thought it was going to be be sunny! I'm not sure if it's a scientific fact (and I can't be arsed to google it) but the affect that the weather has on people's moods is amazing. When it's sunny I literally feel like nothing can go wrong but when the weathers like this, it's a completely different story. The word "dementors" comes to mind - but that's because I'm definatly a closeted Harry Potter enthusiast.

I've decided that the time is ripe for me to sort my life out! I've had enough of wallowing in self pity and becoming more and more reclusive by the day. I'm making a promise to myself, right now, that within a month I'll have a new job!

I can't think of anything topical to actually write about, but I really wanted to write something - I promise that I'll write something longer and better in a few days which hopefully won't be as depressing as everything I've written so far on here. I just wanted to point out something I've noticed lately - Although I'm perfectly content with lying in bed all day, eating cereal and watching iCarly. My parents have been actively encouraging me to go out and get drunk, which I'm sure is something that most parents don't do. My dad practically had a go at me this afternoon for turning down a VIP wrist band for a club night, weird. I've only not been drunk for eight days! It's not like I havent been clubbing in months!

I'm positivley elated by the fact that I recieved two comments on my last post! I'm going to keep At this, I'm sure I'll get into the swing of things!

Heres to positive thinking!

blogging

Although I only started this the other day, I'm finding that writing down how I'm feeling in this format very theraputic. I'm fully aware that my self-indulgent rants aren't being read by anybody else which is something I would like to change, I just don't know how.

I'm not going to advertise this blog on Facebook, Twitter or any of the other various social networking sites that the internet has to offer. I would like people I don't know to find this blog and read the thoughts and rants that I'm sure are to come.  I'm having difficulty finding blogs that are similar to mine, ones that aren't about fashion, music or politics. If there is somthing on my mind, I'm going to come here and write about it and I want to find people my age who do the same thing. But how do I do it? I have no idea.

I've even clicked the "Send feedback" button with my suggestions to make finding similar blogs more user friendly. I have no interest in becoming "blogspot famous" and I would definatly be mortified if someone from my real life read this blog. I would however like to read posts that interest me on a deeper level than what i should be wearing this season. I'd like to come to this page and find comments and opinions on my posts, but I think that I may be asking too much.

Although I'm sure that nobody is going to read this, If you are - leave a comment. I'd be interested to see. I'm very new to blogging and I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm just tired of trying to fit everything I'm feeling into 140 characters.

Am I even doing this right?